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Borrowed from Jo Johnson on Facebook

• Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through “Nothing to declare”

• Being unable to stand and leave without first saying “right”

• Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best

• Saying “anywhere here’s fine” when the taxi’s directly outside your front door

• Being sure to start touching your bag 15 minutes before your station, so the person in the aisle seat is fully prepared for your exit

• Repeatedly pressing the door button on the train before it’s illuminated, to assure your fellow commuters you have the situation in hand

• Having someone sit next to you on the train, meaning you’ll have to eat your crisps at home 
• The huge sense of relief after your perfectly valid train ticket is accepted by the inspector

• The horror of someone you only half know saying: “Oh I’m getting that train too”

• “Sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – Translation: Unless this is a person who looks remarkably like a bag, I suggest you move it

• Loudly tapping your fingers at the cashpoint, to assure the queue that you’ve asked for money and the wait is out of your hands

• Looking away so violently as someone nearby enters their PIN that you accidentally dislocate your neck

• Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change

• Saying hello to a friend in the supermarket, then creeping around like a burglar to avoid seeing them again

• Watching with quiet sorrow as you receive a different haircut to the one you requested

• Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying “I think that’s right”

• Overtaking someone on foot and having to keep up the uncomfortably fast pace until safely over the horizon

• Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it

• Deeming it necessary to do a little jog over zebra crossings, while throwing in an apologetic mini wave

• Punishing people who don’t say thank you by saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible

• The overwhelming sorrow of finding a cup of tea you forgot about

• Turning down a cup of tea for no reason and instantly knowing you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake

• Suddenly remembering your tea and necking it like a massive, lukewarm shot

• Realising you’ve got about fifty grand’s worth of plastic bags under your kitchen sink

• “You’ll have to excuse the mess” – Translation: I’ve spent seven hours tidying in preparation for your visit

• Indicating that you want the last roast potato by trying to force everyone else to take it

• “I’m off to bed” – Translation: “I’m off to stare at my phone in another part of the house”

• Mishearing somebody’s name on the second time of asking, meaning you must now avoid them forever

• Leaving it too late to correct someone, meaning you must live with your new name forever

• Running out of ways to say thanks when a succession of doors are held for you, having already deployed ‘cheers’, ‘ta’ and ‘nice one’

• Changing from ‘kind regards’ to just ‘regards’, to indicate that you’re rapidly reaching the end of your tether

• Staring at your phone in silent horror until the unknown number stops ringing

• Hearing a recording of your own voice and deciding it’s perhaps best never to speak again

• The relief when someone doesn’t answer their phone within three rings and you can hang up

• Filming an entire fireworks display on your phone, knowing full well you’ll never, ever watch it again

Hi Edd,

Welcome to the forum I hope you find it useful. Any questions give us a shout, but there's plenty of great content on here and I am sure you have lots of insight to offer as well.

What are the latest stats?

As I am wanting to focus on B2B sales by selling my blog writing service I am primarily focusing on LinkedIn now, with Insta, Facebook and Twitter as ongoing platforms I post on as well. I have so far built my LinkedIn network  by nearly 100 in just over a week, as I am really interacting on a lot of posts, posting myself and using videos as well. I read a few tips and they seem to be working! Most of the connections are being sent to me not vice versa, and most are potentially useful in the future. It is actually interesting to see LinkedIn developing as a social media platform for businesses.

Hahaha I want to try and hide broccoli in a glass of milk now. 

It's strange how much it's changed in the last few years. 

Hehe not many could though. 

I saw this article about cash today https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-47456698

Do you still use cash? I have to admit I barely do now and when I need to I am scrabbling about for it. I did find a tenner in an old pair of jeans last week though.   I get an Uber when I go out so I pay automatically for that and use my debit card to pay for drinks or food when I am out or in shops. I think ice cream vans, small shops and black cabs are the only time I really need cash. Even parking you can usually pay online using an app now. 

The most interesting part of the article for me was the pub that went cash free.  A bold move but he says it saves him thousands as no more trips to the bank, less security as no cash on the premises, so insurance is also cheaper and so much time saved from cashing up and depositing it every few days. Cash is too expensive to deal with!

What do you think? Do you still prefer having a wallet full or do you just use your card (or your phone or your watch!) to pay?

Hi there, you should post in the introductions section as you are new to the forum. What makes your marketing service better than anyone else's? Tell us a bit about yourself.