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Funniest thing is I'm not even sure if he was joking or not..... i mean we all here things about rogue traders, but jeez that just beggars belief!

I'd like to think it was just a bored carpet cleaner that had no work for the day trying to add a bit of humour but ..... part of me thinks not.

As for naming and shaming i think they have done a good enough job of that themselves on the said forum and suspect they dont realise just how public these comments are.

Rest easy Steve, they dont cover our area, we'd run em outta town if they did

hi guys,
thought i would give u a little insight into our day to day hazards.

this snippet is from a forum for carpet cleaners..... its had us absolutely wetting ourselves

We cleaned a 100% wool carpet today and used too much hot water. The whole carpet shrunk about 1ft all around the room.
The customer was not at home so we lifted the carpet out into the garden and tried to stretch it back using a garden rake which we broke.
The carpet was all rippled and badly distorted when we fitted it back.

Any advice.

and now for the replies.... such a helpful bunch...

1. Matt, you made a schoolboy error!

What you should have done is left the carpet in situ. Then you should have drilled holes all along one of the outside walls of the room, threaded rope through it and used your van to power stretch the carpet back onto the grippers.

Simple really

2. Just get some crayons and draw a new carpet onto the floor

3. Carpets shrunk to this degree can be completely restored to normal size by applying Cheshire Cheese to the affected areas.

Broken garden rakes can be repaired by spraying white vingar onto a cucumber, agitating each end of the broken rake with a kettle, then pushing the two bits back together, in full sight of the cucumber, which must be facing north westerly. For best results, the cucumber should be wearing a tutu.

Try it, it works.

4. have you thought about telling your cuzzie that youve done there rug clean, unfortunatley you stretched it slightly?
as for the rake just bin it and plead the third amendment
i mean seriously did the carpet clean up well??? yeah???
whats all the fuss about
marc (spot the author of this one )

5.NO. Find a local builder.
Fit carpet to two of the walls, then get the builder to bring the walls in on the other 2 sides. Simples

6.WTF

Roll yourself up in the carpet and hide...
and finally response from the original poster

7.Hardly helpfull considering the situation we are in.
Luckly we found some yoghurt in her fridge, which we shared with a wooden spoon (teaspoons were in dishwasher).
Carpets still ruined though and shes not happy.

and you lot wonder why im slightly insane

yes we have had a lot to contend with, thankfully more ups than downs.
we are really proud of how things have turned out, we are finally make a name for ourselves as a company to reckon with, lots of referrals and returning customers which is brilliant!
long may it continue

Steve,
he's been working me way too hard, burning candle at both ends.
business has taken a huge leap and we are taking bookings well in advance too which is brilliant

seriously back to the SEO company that called offering to put us on front page google, blah blah blah.... ending call with offering me a part time job working for them i find very scary indeed!
let's face it... without the help of you guys here our site wouldnt be where it is now yet they think i can help them to improve THEIR site.
Hardly a testimonial for the services that they were trying to sell us in the first place .
whats your view?

Careful Steve or you'll be needing a new hip