Joke Of the day

By : Business Owner
Published 20th January 2018 |
Read latest comment - 2nd February 2018

A oldie but still made me chuckle

Two Mexicans have been lost in the desert for weeks. At death's door, they see a tree in the distance. As they get nearer, they see that it's draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon: smoked bacon; crispy bacon; life-giving, nearly raw, juicy bacon... all sorts of bacon. "Hey, Pepe," says the first Mexican, "ees a bacon tree!
We're saved!" So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree. As he gets to within five feet, he's gunned down in a hail of bullets.
His friend drops down on the sand and calls across to the wounded Pepe. "Pepe! Pepe! Que pasa hombre?" With his last breath, Pepe calls out, "Ugh, run, amigo, run, ees not a bacon tree, ees a ham bush."


Thanks,
Andy-C | Pewter World
Comments

Very good Andy, not very PC but made me chuckle. 


Reminds me - I promised to promote my Mexican friend's carpet business on here. It's called 'Underlay Underlay'.


Many thanks,
Natalie - Your Local Girl Friday

lol ..To even it up I found a relatively mild joke. The other would have gotten me banned hahahaha

A man walks into the Spur with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, “A hamburger, chips and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”

“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be R59.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “A hamburger, chips, and a coke.” The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until, the two enter again.

“The usual?” asks the waitress. “No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad,” says the man. “Same,” says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, “That will be R132.60.” Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”

“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”

“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

The waitress asks, “But, sir, what’s with the ostrich?”

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.”


Thanks,
Andy-C | Pewter World


Many thanks,
Natalie - Your Local Girl Friday

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